Home, and what I learned.

Hi all!!  Guess who is home?  You guessed it, we blew the popsicle stand today at about 3:30.  The last 36 hours were really hard.  I can not remember the last time I spent 7 hours indoors, let alone 7 days so to say that I was going stir crazy would be an understatement.  I am feeling quite good.  People keep saying that I am remarkable, amazing etc.  Let me go on record right now, and say that I am in no way amazing or remarkable.  I stand firmly on this.  The God that I serve is awesome, and I believe in the power of prayer.  Before the surgery I was asked by people what they could pray for.  I did not ask for healing or some amazing recovery.  It was easy, I asked for one thing.  Pain management and pain relief.  All of the Doctors agreed that the pain would be bad, and my toughest battle.  I can honestly say that the pain has been minimal.  I feel like I have been in a car accident, and that I have sore ribs (oh yeah, I am missing 4).  I did not have a morphine pump as I thought I might after the surgery  I was on an epidural for the first few days, and then percocet.  I did not even take percocet until a couple days ago after a nurse convinced me that it would help me relax and sleep better.  Yes it did.  Lets look at the numbers.  Was told I would be in ICU for 2 days was in there for 20 hours.  Was told I would be in the hospital for up to 2 weeks, was in there for 7 days.  God is good!

Now for what I learned.  

Cancer is ugly:     As you know until 4 years ago the Cobley's had not experienced cancer.  Now, Hannah and I both have the unique position of being both a care giver and survivor of cancer.  Very different experiences.  Hannah has spoken of the "dark side" of cancer.  As a care giver even as close as Sharon or I were to Hannah we didn't totally see the dark side, we couldn't.  We did not have the eyes to see it.  Now having gone through it I have seen it.  It is ugly.  Cancer grinds on you, and it is relentless.  There were two nights that were really bad, but one was very bad.  My nurse Phillip came in at the start of the shift, looked at me and said we were going to have a long night, it was.  2 blood transfusions, 2 units of fluids, breathing treatments because I could not stop wheezing or catch my breath, and to top it all off, soiling my bed and having my nurses having to clean me up.  One can not get much lower than that.  Cancer is ugly, it is relentless, it grinds.

My medical team was AMAZING:     Not going down the political road here, but it is fair to say that our medical system in this country is broken.  That being said, I could not have been blessed with a more caring group of people in my life.  My Doctors and nurses truly cared for me.  Nurse Philip was a rockstar.  When you get to the point of not being able to control your situation,  like for me in this situation, I had to trust my medical team.  I did, and that was a very liberating experience.

Friends and family are essential:     My family, you guys, the entire support system that we are blessed enough to have is beyond words.  I can honestly say that without it, I do not know were we would be.  Either me as a person our the Cobley's as a family.  It is overwhelming, it is humbling, it is a blessing to be a part of.  There are so many that fight this disease that do not have it.  That is why Hannah as started http://www.lighthouseforhope.org/  People need support to fight this.

So where are we now?  On the road to recovey.  The pathology report came back clean so the Doctor's got all the cancer!  

I need to heal.  

I need to wait on God to see how he will use this to further His kingdom.

I need to find a way to give back.

Eucaristia