Where does the time go? (Edited by Sharon)

Wow, can not believe that it has been just short of a month since my last post, so I guess it is time for an update.  So much has happened!!

First and most importantly, Sarah and Seth got married.  It was such a great time, we all had so much fun.  Sharon and I are so thankful that Seth and Sarah were able to have the beautiful, fun filled wedding that they had envisioned. And fun it was - dancing, eating, drinking, eating some more, more dancing and did I mention singing?  Thanks to a beautiful rendition of the ever popular Celine Dion hit "It's All Coming Back to Me Now".

Prior to the big day on the 24th of October, there were a couple of other events that happened.  Sadly, Sharon's mom passed away on the 10th of October.  Grandma Janet was 94.  Such a strong faithful woman, we affectionately called her the energizer bunny because she just kept on going.  She is at peace now and home with her Savior.

Two days before the wedding was the day that Dr T decided to clean up my skin graph, and remove the tissue that was not viable.  So out patient procedure time, all went well, and my scar become more football shaped.

Again the wedding was wonderful, and went off without a hitch.

So now all things are behind us, and time to heal and get on with life.  I have been back at work for several weeks because I am out of sick days, and well, I need to get paid.  My students have been AWESOME, they go with the flow, and understand when I need to take it slow.

While I do not have any sick days left, there are several people on campus that want to donate days to me.  Unfortunately donating days is not as simple as it may seem.  I have a great principal, and he has found away to take care of that, so I am able to take days when needed.

Just when things were beginning to get back to normal - whatever that is - My mom took a tumble and broke her elbow and her hip. She had surgery yesterday to repair the elbow and the hip will heal on its own. Off to the rehab center for her for healing.

About a week ago, I developed a cough.  At first I figured it was no big deal, it will go away.   My drainage however from the skin graph procedure was not letting up.  Long story short, I developed an infection, bring on the horse pills.  Infection being knocked down, but the cough was hanging on.  A CT scan was ordered for Tuesday night, and yesterday afternoon I get a phone call from Dr T telling me that I have fluid in my chest cavity that needs to come out.

Well Alrighty Then.... procedure today, fluid out, but a new drain put it.  So once again I have a drain hanging from my chest.  I can already feel the pressure off my lungs and breathing is easier.

So, when all is said and done, at the end of the day, what have I learned?  Cancer sucks, it grinds on you, it is relentless.

Well guess what, my family, friends, support group and my God are relentless, we grind.  Cancer does not like it when you grind back.  It is a weak opponent.

Eucaristia

Selflessness

Here's a healing progress report! I had another drain taken out on Wednesday, so that leaves me with one. The final one is located under my muscle graph, between the GoreTex and titanium. The draining is slowing, I see Dr T on Wednesday, and she has final say over this drain. The draining is slowing down, and hopefully slows to the point that I can have it removed before the wedding. Oh yeah, did I mention that there is a wedding next Saturday?!?!?!

Scar "story" update: The one that has the lead in my mind is that a dyslexic terrorist tried to cut my heart out, but he was cutting on the wrong side.

I feel really good. I am sleeping better and for longer stretches of time. Part of that is do to the fact that I am not having to get up to pee every hour or so because I have finally flushed out the 20 pounds of water weight (plus a few extra pounds) that I put on while I was in the hospital.

As you know, I am officiating the ceremony for Sarah and Seth next Saturday. While preparing for that, I look at Sharon's and my marriage. We are at 35 years and counting. Upon reflection, I came to the conclusion that the single most important thing, and least in our marriage, is selflessness. Putting Sharon before me, Sharon putting me before her. Does it happen all the time?  Of course not, but it is an action and a choice that we choose everyday.

That being said, a couple of days ago, Sharon and I were being a little short with each other. Mostly me. I am a guy of course, a blunt instrument, with an over sized forehead, and knuckles tattered from scrapping on the ground. I have had single focus of mind, get healthy, get back to work, to heck with everything else. Let's not forget that Sharon has a few items on her plate, the wedding, the passing of her mom, and oh me. The other day, I could not understand why she was being so short, and not wanting me to drive to work. (I have not been cleared to drive yet). She finally looked at me and said, "Do you know how stressed and scared I have been over this?"  In my infinite wisdom I said no, you did not tell me. "Knock Knock, hello McFly??"

It was at that point I realized how selfish I was being. Concerned only with getting back to work. I did not realize my single mindedness, and my decisions to that end (considered reckless to some) were affecting others, especially those that care about me most. Me driving back to work and teaching, while a normal everyday function, is scary for Sharon.  I could not see it, or understand it.  Why? Because I was only thinking of me.  If I put myself in Sharon's shoes, I would be terrified.  The light went on.

My healing will be complete when all of those around me are healed too.

Forgive me for being selfish, forgive me for not putting Sharon and my family first. Lord thank you for setting the example of a selfless life.  Help me to live selflessly.

Eucaristia.

Scars (Edited by Hannah)

It has been a few days, so I thought that I would bring you all up to speed.

Quick update on the game the other night.  We were playing one of our rivals, and they were ahead at halftime.  I was starting to fade and I told the defensive coordinator that I was leaving no matter what at the end of the third quarter, which I did.  At that point we were down 28 to 7 going into the 4th quarter.  Dial up the biggest comeback in school history.  We tied the score by the end of the 4th quarter, and we ended up winning the game in overtime 38-35. Great win! Showed me just how much I am needed!!

The healing is progressing nicely.  I feel good, and still have only minimal pain or discomfort.  Sleeping is problematic in that I am a side sleeper, not a back sleeper.  With my drains and the location of the incisions I am forced to sleep on my back. Not a lot of fun. In addition to that, my system is flushing itself of all of the water weight that I put on in the hospital (over 20 pounds) so I am constantly getting up to pee during the night.  The combination of these two has made it so that the longest stretch of sleep that I have had since leaving the hospital is about 2 hours.  Not gonna complain, I could be sleeping less.  I did have one drain removed yesterday, now down to the final 2, so that has potentially opened the door for me sleeping on my left side.  I should have another drain removed by then end of this week.

More and more dressings are being removed, and my scaring is starting to be seen.  I did have to contact Men's Health this week and break my contract with them.  No more shirtless modeling for me.

Also as I describe my scars be thinking of a story behind them.  It needs to be a good one, shark attack, tortured for military secrets, something like that.  Send me your suggestions and the best one will win!  Telling someone that I had cancer and had to have 4 ribs removed is too boring.

I have 4 holes in my stomach from the drains.  These look like they could be small caliber bullet holes.  The scar on my chest is shaped like a football (appropriate) and goes from my sternum to my armpit.  I also have a vertical scar that is about 10 inches long that goes straight down my stomach midline.  

On a side note, this morning as I was getting dressed, I did see something that I was not prepared for.  My stomach scar, and the removal of the muscle and skin in that area has forced by belly button to move off center.  I don't mean slightly off center, it is like 2 inches to the right of my midline!!  I always new that I was off center but I have to admit, an off center belly button looks kinda funny.

Cancer causes all sorts of scars.  From the physical kind that I have, to the mental kind that many others suffer from.  The doctors cut into my body, took some ribs, moved some muscle around and I have the scars to show for it.  All the cutting that was done, all the scaring left behind is fine.  The doctors did not take any of my soul.  They did not remove any Craig Cobley.  

My heart goes out to and prayers go up for those that have invisible scars.  They can be the most painful.  They are the ones that some people can not recover from.

The visible scars in the hands and feet of Jesus have taken away my invisible scars.  I pray that others will allow Him to do the same for them.

Eucaristia

Eucaristia.

Learning to be patient.

Hi all, just checking in.  Things are going well, I am trying to take it easy, listen to my Dr's and heal.  

My day's consist of getting up....some reading....a little film break down, nap, lunch, nap, clash of clans, dinner, bed time.

A couple of times during the day, we have the great joy of emptying out my JP Drains.  I had 5 drains after surgery, and I currently have 3.  For those of you that don't know, a JP Drain is a grenade sized plastic bulb that has a tube running into my stomach or chest.  They fill up wonderfully throughout the day, so they need to be drained.  Great coloring from a Rose' to a rich Shiraz.  They just hang from a belt, and as they fill, then tend to hang below my shirt, so that I have my own little grenade belt.

My sister being here has been great, being the nurse that she is, she loves to empty them.  I thank God for her everyday.

One of the things that has never been my strong suit is patience.  Job and I did not have the same mother.  I am the guy that would have told Job to rip of his clothes and die and that is really not an option here, so I am learning to be patient.

Learning patience involves trust.  I was patient and ok with my surgery because I trusted my doctors. I am learning patience now by trusting God.  Trusting that my healing will be complete, trusting that God will comfort my family, trusting is sometimes painful, trusting is learning be to stretched and trusting God is slowly making me a patient person.

I found out today after meeting with the plastic surgeon that I will have another surgery.  It will not be invasive, and will be an out patient procedure.  It will involve the removal of the skin and muscle graft tissue that does not take.  Not scheduled yet, will keep you posted.

Thanks so much for your support.  It is amazing.

Eucaristia

Home, and what I learned.

Hi all!!  Guess who is home?  You guessed it, we blew the popsicle stand today at about 3:30.  The last 36 hours were really hard.  I can not remember the last time I spent 7 hours indoors, let alone 7 days so to say that I was going stir crazy would be an understatement.  I am feeling quite good.  People keep saying that I am remarkable, amazing etc.  Let me go on record right now, and say that I am in no way amazing or remarkable.  I stand firmly on this.  The God that I serve is awesome, and I believe in the power of prayer.  Before the surgery I was asked by people what they could pray for.  I did not ask for healing or some amazing recovery.  It was easy, I asked for one thing.  Pain management and pain relief.  All of the Doctors agreed that the pain would be bad, and my toughest battle.  I can honestly say that the pain has been minimal.  I feel like I have been in a car accident, and that I have sore ribs (oh yeah, I am missing 4).  I did not have a morphine pump as I thought I might after the surgery  I was on an epidural for the first few days, and then percocet.  I did not even take percocet until a couple days ago after a nurse convinced me that it would help me relax and sleep better.  Yes it did.  Lets look at the numbers.  Was told I would be in ICU for 2 days was in there for 20 hours.  Was told I would be in the hospital for up to 2 weeks, was in there for 7 days.  God is good!

Now for what I learned.  

Cancer is ugly:     As you know until 4 years ago the Cobley's had not experienced cancer.  Now, Hannah and I both have the unique position of being both a care giver and survivor of cancer.  Very different experiences.  Hannah has spoken of the "dark side" of cancer.  As a care giver even as close as Sharon or I were to Hannah we didn't totally see the dark side, we couldn't.  We did not have the eyes to see it.  Now having gone through it I have seen it.  It is ugly.  Cancer grinds on you, and it is relentless.  There were two nights that were really bad, but one was very bad.  My nurse Phillip came in at the start of the shift, looked at me and said we were going to have a long night, it was.  2 blood transfusions, 2 units of fluids, breathing treatments because I could not stop wheezing or catch my breath, and to top it all off, soiling my bed and having my nurses having to clean me up.  One can not get much lower than that.  Cancer is ugly, it is relentless, it grinds.

My medical team was AMAZING:     Not going down the political road here, but it is fair to say that our medical system in this country is broken.  That being said, I could not have been blessed with a more caring group of people in my life.  My Doctors and nurses truly cared for me.  Nurse Philip was a rockstar.  When you get to the point of not being able to control your situation,  like for me in this situation, I had to trust my medical team.  I did, and that was a very liberating experience.

Friends and family are essential:     My family, you guys, the entire support system that we are blessed enough to have is beyond words.  I can honestly say that without it, I do not know were we would be.  Either me as a person our the Cobley's as a family.  It is overwhelming, it is humbling, it is a blessing to be a part of.  There are so many that fight this disease that do not have it.  That is why Hannah as started http://www.lighthouseforhope.org/  People need support to fight this.

So where are we now?  On the road to recovey.  The pathology report came back clean so the Doctor's got all the cancer!  

I need to heal.  

I need to wait on God to see how he will use this to further His kingdom.

I need to find a way to give back.

Eucaristia

Day 4 Post Surgery

Friday: Day 4 Post Surgery

Good Morning! Sharon here this time (with Hannah tapping in). I can't believe it's Friday already, the anticipation leading up to surgery was nuts. Trying to get the big things done for the wedding prep, friends and family pitching in and working in 100 degree heat to get the deck done, we are eternally grateful. Girlfriends dropping everything when I said I needed some girlfriend time that is invaluable.

I've updated a bit each morning on facebook but thought I'd sit down and give a few more details here.

The 2 units of blood did a world of good. On Wednesday he was looking a little pale when we left him and we had been told they were probably going to give him some blood on Thursday. His counts dropped so they upped it to Wednesday night. He was much pinker yesterday morning and had more energy.

Some coaches and players came to visit as well as a friend from church and Pastor. He was so tired yesterday afternoon that he slept right through the nurse removing his central line. His chest tube came out today as well as his epidural. All Dr's are very pleased with his progress. We do have a few pictures of what they removed from him - pretty crazy - I won't share them here but if you're interested I can show you. Craig did take a selfie the other day when Dr. T (plastic surgeon) was changing his dressing. He has a nice football shaped wound on his chest. He hasn't had much pain over the last 2 days but that's changed with the removal of the epidural. Now we will have to stay on top of it.

He has had PT twice, first time up with a walker and marching in place then sitting up in the chair for about an hour or so. 2nd time yesterday he actually walked down the hall about 20 feet. He did have to stop and rest about halfway down and halfway back but he didn't have to sit down, just stand and rest a minute. He didn't get dizzy or woozy and his legs felt strong and not wobbly. He walked twice today as well. He has been on clear liquids and added jello yesterday but Dr. F. said he could go to a regular diet starting today, he's not that hungry so will start slow.

His sister Sharon will arrive on Saturday and stay the week, it's always helpful to have nurses in the family, and we have a couple of them. Then I am on our fall break the following week so we are pretty well set for "Team Recovery"

Thank you so much for all your prayers and well wishes! Things are moving right along.

Surgery: check!

Hello everyone! This is Hannah. One of my dad's biggest requests was to update everyone on the blog. As we learned from when I was sick, people like to be updated on progress and if we forget to update, people assume the worst.

Surgery went as well as they hoped it would. They made the incision at 8:56 yesterday morning and he was out sometime around 4 in the afternoon. Jason, our friend and anesthesiologist, was so helpful and texted my mom updates throughout the whole thing. Here's all the information I gathered from the doctors: They got the tumor, along with 4 ribs and the cartilage in the lining of his sternum. The margins are wide and clear (meaning the area around the tumor, so there is a pretty big hole in his chest now). They had to take skin and muscle from his abdomen and rotated the muscle up from his abdomen to his chest to cover where the tumor was. They reconstructed his abdomen with a mesh. It was a long surgery and will be an even longer recovery. They think they got all of the tumor! Yay!

We got to see him after surgery in the ICU, two at a time, and it was weird seeing my dad like that. The tubes and wires coming out of him weren't alarming for me at all. My dad does not drink, so I have never even seen him a little tipsy. Obviously he was heavily medicated, so he was a little loopy. His eyes were looking all over the place and even going a little cross-eyed. That's what was strange. Seeing my dad not totally "with it."

He had a good night, got a little nauseous but is better now. Hopefully in a few hours he will be transferred out of ICU and into his regular room.

Keep the prayers coming! It's going to be a painful recovery, but nothing us Cobley's can't handle. The support and love we feel is overwhelming.

T Minus 36 hours

Edited by Sharon and Hannah via phone from Zin Burger

 Sharon and Hannah are at the movies (they needed to get out of the house), Jessie is at the ASU/USC game, and of course Sarah is in California with final wedding prep.

I am sitting here alone with my thoughts, watching my UCLA Bruins beating the U of A.  So what better time to update then now?

I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago, and these weeks have been packed with activities.  Wedding update: the Framily has been working overtime and all major projects are done with the dance floor deck was finished today.  Bring on the Taco truck, we are ready for the reception!

When Hannah was diagnosed we learned as a family that life goes on.  Sometimes we want to make it stop or slow down, but that is not the case.  Life goes on, we go to work, and go through the normal functions of life.  All the while the elephant in the room of cancer is always around.

The last three weeks for me have been very long.  I really just want to get this done.  I know that it is a process.  Doctors schedules need to be coordinated and tests need to be done.  All the while I sit and wait, which is not something that I am good at.  To be honest, yesterday was the first "bad" day that I have had.  How did it manifest itself?  I was impatient with people! They were just not moving fast enough for me.  After about an hour, I realized what was going on, and told myself to knock it off.  It helped that the Framily was there for dinner.

I can honestly say that I am good to go.  I am not scared or concerned about the actual surgery.  As a 56 year old man, there are medical concerns about being under for as long as I will be.  That being said, the anesthesiologist Dr J, who is a friend of ours, sent us two texts this week.  The first one was that if he had to have the same surgery himself he would pick the surgeons that are performing my procedure.  Here is the second text: 

"I just swung through the pats office and looked over his labs and EKG and chart. Everything looks pristine and I gave it my blessing too.  Looks like you guys are all tee'd up and just need to relax, have a nice weekend, and show up Monday :-) Please tell me if you have any questions"

So medically we are set.

SCORE UPDATE:  UCLA 42 UofA 14 at the half.  Go Bruins!!

Do I have concerns? Yes. My major concern is infection.  Obviously that would be bad.  We will know in the first 24 to 48 hours if it is an issue, so please pray for that.

My other concern is my family.  I am not excited about them having to sit around in a waiting room for 8 or more hours.  I know that I would go crazy sitting around.  Pray that God comforts them.

Again, we are overwhelmed with the support.  There are so many families that have to face this dreaded disease without support.  I can not imagine that, but it is a reality.

The Cobley's are blessed.

God is good.

Eucaristia

The Dream Team

PROOFED by Jessie Cobley

I will start off with a writers note.  I have been considered the blogger of not only this blog, but also hannahcobley.blogspot.com, or more commonly known as hannimaltheanimal.  Truth be known, there was a lot of family editing throughout.   That editing was not recognized.  Well I want to do that now.  With my upcoming surgery, I may be typing things that don't make sense (at least I will blame it on the drugs) so editing will be necessary.  I want to turn this into a family blog.  From this point on, the family blogger will identify themselves as the writer in the title or opening line.  If I write it and it needs to be edited/proofed,  I want you guys to know what Cobley edited it.

That being said,  the DREAM TEAM of surgeons is finalized, and the surgery date has been set.  Dr. F is the lead surgeon, Dr. W is the thoracic surgeon, and Dr. T is the plastic surgeon.  They all have very specific jobs, and will be "tagging" the next one in when it is their turn.

Over the last week or so, the details and the order of the surgery have been finalized... Here are the details.  After the initial incisions, Dr. W will cut a circle in my rib cage and cartilage in a circle about the size of a coffee can.  That circle of tissue which will contain the tumor will be popped out of my chest like a cork on a wine bottle.  Dr. W will then be tagged out by Dr. F.  Dr. W is done, he can hit the showers.

Dr. F will then place the robo skeleton in.  While not as elaborate ate the picture above, I will be having titanium ribs placed in my body.  Kinda cool, sort of super hero like.

Dr. F and Dr. W will take about 3.5 to 4 hours to finish their part of the procedure.

In steps Dr. T, specializing in breast reconstruction, not cosmetic, but fixing those that have gone bad.  While I do not have breast cancer (please hold the jokes) this part of the surgery is very similar to what a breast cancer patient has done.

When Dr. T was explaining this to me, it was obvious that the Dr. T was concerned with how I felt about scarring.  The scarring can be bad, and obvious.  The scar on my chest will look like a football (very fitting I think).  The tissue that is used for the muscle and skin graft will come from either my back or my stomach.  I told them I prefer the stomach, and to lypo me while down there.  If more skin is needed that will come from my side.

All that being said, total surgery time will be about 8 hours.  Long time for my family and friends to be sitting around waiting, but since I will be asleep, I will not care.

The date of the surgery is September 28.

The last several days have been hard.  The waiting... I am not scared or worried.  I just want to get on with it.  I have felt like an athlete that is ready to go, and keeps having the start of the game postponed.

Now that it is scheduled, I am good to go.  The Cobley's are good to go... God is good and in control, lets get this done so we can move on to Sarah and Seth's wedding in October.

Eucaristia

Hurry up and wait!!

Hi All.... so, here is an update.  I had a PET scan on Friday; which was awesome.  They put radioactive isotopes in me through an IV - third one of the week - which is more than I've had in my life, sorry Hannah. I actually had to sign a paper that said I would not interact with children under 12 because I was radioactive!  Really?  I felt like laying in the garden so that my radioactivity would help grow the veggies.  Geiger counters throughout Phoenix were going off.

So the waiting game began.  I love 3 day weekends.

When we were told that my physical ability would be limited for a time after the surgery, some became concerned about Sarah and Seth's wedding reception being in our backyard because I would not be able to get the yard ready.  It was even suggested that we try to find another location.  I appreciate the concern, but that was not gonna happen.  My daughter wants her reception in our backyard, then that is what will happen.  Friends to the rescue.  Sharon and team pulled out the stops... Trimming, edging, weeding, painting, and footers for a deck put in.  Our support group is AMAZING.  We call them framily, because they truly are friends that are family.

During the weekend I struggled with every pain that I felt in my body.  I am feeling pain in my chest where the tumor is as it is actually destroying my ribs, but all weekend every pain became another tumor location.  Not gonna lie, hard weekend mentally.

So today we met with the thoracic surgeon.   For you that are old enough to remember MASH, that is the "chest cutter".  We like him.  Very dry sense of humor, told us that he would stop by Home Depot to pick up the saws that are needed for the surgery and that he had You Tubed it, did I mention that we like him?  So we were good to go.

He told us that he was studying my labs over weekend, so we immediatly asked him about the PET scan results.... tick tock tick tock... seemed like forever.  No other tumors!!!! Life is good.

From here I meet with the plastic surgeon on Thursday about the muscle graph, then we schedule the actual surgery.  I explained the sense of urgency with the upcoming wedding so we are on a fast track.

All that being said, I am good. The Cobley's are good, we just wanna get on with it.  Once again I am learning patience knowing that God is in control, I am not, and I have to step aside.  There are times I step aside slowly, reluctantly, but I still step aside.

Eucaristia

Here we go again!

So here I sit in front of the computer screen for what seems like hours trying to figure out how to start this post.  I feel no great inspiration.  It's hard to figure out how or what I want to say. Here goes...

My name is Craig Cobley.  I am 56 years old, and I found out a few days ago that I have cancer. There I said it, lets move forward

As many of you know, 4 years ago, our youngest daughter, Hannah was diagnosed with a very rare form of leukemia.  So rare in fact, that Phoenix Children's Hospital had not had a case for 7 years prior to her diagnosis and none since.

Hannah is cured, she beat cancer!  My family does not have a history of cancer (maybe now we do) The Cobley's die of heart attacks. The ticker goes, and we pass.

A few months ago, I am lying on my back in bed, hands on my chest and I feel a lump. It's about the size of an Oreo cookie.   This can not be normal, and of course being a man, I chose to ignore it. I had an injury to my elbow and had to see the team Doc, and I asked him what he thought, his first response was that it was a cyst or lypoma and that it should be looked at. I head to my dermatologist who said the same thing but that it was too big (yikes) for him to diagnose. Off I went to a general surgeon. His response was a Desmoid tumor which is a benign tumor that can be easily removed. Great lets get after it! Not so fast...MRI and then CT scan and biopsy and then tissue samples sent off to University of Miami for a second opinion. This is not good.  Turns out that I have a Chondrosarcoma - a rare form of cancer that attacks cartilage and surrounding tissue. I had a PET scan on Friday to make sure there are no other tumors (this cancer does not spread that way so it is highly unlikely that it has spread).  Appointment with the thoracic surgeon on Tuesday afternoon because of course they will have to remove part of my sternum and take a couple of ribs (whats 2 more). Plastic surgeon will have to join the party because i won't have enough muscle tissue to cover the mesh that will protect my lung since I will not have part of my sternum. It's gonna be a party.

This type of cancer does not respond well to chemo and radiation so we just need to get it out. Maybe a little radiation on the back end depending on what the margins look like after surgery. The prognosis is good, and its just gonna hurt like crazy.

In the same way that I asked God how Hannah's cancer would further His Kingdom.  I am asking the same thing now.  God, how will this further your Kingdom.  That is my focus.  Things happen for a reason, this is not random.

I will sign this blog same way that I signed off on Hannah's when following her fight.

Our English language does not have the depth we have been looking for when we say "thank you."  Pastor Steve suggested this Greek word for us.   Eucaristia which translates to the soul being filled with grace, a sign of unity or a bond of charity.  While this just scratches the surface, it is the word we will use.

Eucaristia, may God bless you the way that He has blessed us.