Happy Father's Day!

This Sunday is Father's Day, father's day is not anything remotely like Mother's Day, it honestly isn't that big of a deal to dads and I think I can speak for most of us, that's OK with us.

I love being a Dad.  I have three incredible daughters that I would do anything for.

When I was 16, I lost my dad and unfortunately, I was the one who found him.  It sucked, and to this day it still does.  I miss him everyday and over the past 40 years there are so many experiences that I would have loved to have shared with him.  I know that he would have loved Sharon and they would have had such a wonderful time teaming up against me!

The purpose of this post is not to say how much I miss my Dad, but how sorry I am for what my daughters have gone through since September of last year.

Dads are not supposed to break.  Dads are invincible!  Dads can chase monsters away, make bullies cower in the corner, and fix or build anything.  Of course this is not true, but I believed it of my Dad, and for the most part my girls believe it of me.

Jessie, Sarah, and Hannah are all very different, and I have a very different relationship with each of them.  That being said, they all love classic rock, tolerate football, love the beach and know that I would do anything for them.

Since September, they have done more for me than I could ever do for them. They have supported me unconditionally.  Their patience with my weakness has been incredible.   My 2 favorite words are "Hi Dad!"

I'm not gonna lie, the last 9 months have been hard.  I'm good now, I really am, and I am confident in what God has planned for me.  But it certainly hasn't been an easy road and one that I don't care to travel down again.

I am so sorry that they have had to worry about me, be concerned with my pain, be patient with my lack of energy, and in the darker moments be concerned with losing me.

I have sat here writing this post with tears streaming down my face, with a joy in my heart that can not be explained.

Jessie, Sarah, and Hannah, I am proud to be your dad, thanks for your love and support.  Lets go party in Newport, laugh, love and cry they way we do every year, and be thankful for the years that we have to come.

I love you.

Eucaristia

Plans

As of tomorrow, I will have been home from the hospital for 2 weeks. Not a lot happens when one is sitting around home recovering from surgery, lots of thinking and planning - in my head - but in reality mostly a lot of naps.

I feel pretty good! I put on 22 pounds in the hospital, that's right 22 pounds in 4 days, thanks to all of the fluids pumped into me.  I came home looking like I was in my third trimester, over the last week I've lost the 22 pounds plus an additional 5, so that's good. The kidney is working!!

While this surgery was much less radical and invasive than the rib resection, upon reflection I think it has been harder. Losing ribs and having a breast reconstruction has nothing to do with my "system". Kidneys are part of how the body works, and are obviously vascular, so it affected more how I feel, the pain was much less, but how I felt took longer and was more difficult.

Sunday afternoon, I started to have ankle pain, and by Monday morning it had elevated to an 8 out of 10 on the pain scale, the highest level of I had with my ribs was a 6, so this was bad, very bad.  Dr B had me go to the ER to check for a blood clot, no clot, turns out is was gout!! Gout sucks! Turns out the foods that I was eating to help with my anemia can cause a flare up of gout.

On Wednesday I went to the cardiologist as a follow up for my CPR. Funny side note, and the tech was taking my vitals and and reading my chart, he said "holy s**t"  you're lucky to be here. My ticker is good and I was cleared by the cardiologist.

Two big events over the next few weeks, 10 days in Newport with the family, we CANNOT wait. It is one of our favorite places in the world, and we are all so looking forward to sticking our toes in the sand, spending time with family and friends and pretty much doing nothing for 10 days.

I leave for Daphne, Alabama on July 12th and will arrive on the 15th.  I am so excited to get there and begin working with the kids of Daphne High School. Go Trojans!

In response to the cardio tech, and his " you're lucky to be here" comment. I am not lucky to be here at all. I am here for a purpose. God has chosen to refine me through this process. The refining is not complete, it is a process, but I am confident in the fact that God will use me to further His kingdom.

In the same way that I had to get out of God's way through this healing process, I need to get out of God's way while he uses me. My trust is complete, I will be used, I just don't know how yet. However I do know this. It will not be boring. I am looking forward to it.

Eucaristia